30.08.12 我的盼望

在回俄罗斯的前夕，你带着怎么样的盼望？

不久以前，我的母亲 告诉我某某人的女儿很崇拜我这位就读医科的学生
我  就在想 就读医科有那么的伟大？

然后今天， 我终于拜访了我所有的亲戚
有一位姑姑，她在我面前 告诉了她的孙子（也就是我的侄儿侄女）。。这就是你们的姑姑 你们要努力读书 将来也要像她那样 那么的聪明 就读医科 成为一位 医生！
当时的我， 突然 觉悟了 （我 被 感动了。。）
原来。。

医生 是一个很伟大的职业，是人所崇拜的，学习的

今后我要更加的努力了， 不要辜负了 大家的期望！
感谢主！

28.08.12 You are that important to me =)

Yesterday i dreamt a dream..
the dream is about we being a lovely couple for 3 weeks
and the day after you were coupling with my sister (somehow in reality i don't have any sisters)


i cried and cried and cried....
even after the dream i was upset..
i was crying as well even after the dream
it was so pain.... so pain until i can't breath!


you are important to me...
everyday i love you more than yesterday...

i feel so pain...

but somehow.... this is what keep inside my heart..
the true feeling
and what will happen if....

I love you my dear <3

23.08.12 Before you complain...

Before you complain anything…

Anything.. as in the situation you are in… the problem that you facing…

Have you ever thought that this is what it is or this is what you get after you made this or that decision?

But why you still complain?

Have you feeling regret?

Have you ever thought of going back to second your decision?

But the fact is.. you DON’T have the chance…

You are what you are right now…

The decision that you made last time… is the reason of why YOU being here

Make a change from NOW ON and STOP complaining!

If you insist, then just move away from where you are and go to the place where you wanted

I shouldn’t complain…

I know I have been complaining so much….too much

About how a person can cheat during exam and just got away like this and proud of it somehow….

About how a person can have good relationship with the teacher and just passed his or her exam just like this

Whereas me, still pending 2 exams, here in Malaysia, didn’t do much study

Its just so ridiculous….

Thanks God! That HE had reminded me…

That instead of complain how people passed their exam why not I just care about how should I prepare for my exam?

Have I work hard for it?

No.

Am I being lazy?

Yes.

Should I change?

Yes.

How?

Study and focus whole heartedly….

Thanks God. =)

21.08.12 我想 用心地 再做一次。

tuning "I found a boy" by Adele
. . .


i found someone who loves me with his heart

no matter how tired is he...
no matter how weak is he...

he trying his level best to support me

whereas i always did so much things that made him stress, sad, worry and so much negatives
I NEVER TRYING MY LEVEL BEST IN ANYTHING...
just before i met him
i thought that if i do my level best i might feel disappointment and so ...
i never know and i don't know since when i lost my heart in doing anything

i felt heartless....
its not emptiness
just ..


I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL
i wanted to do something that i can feel my heart beating....
again...



i wanted that kind of heart again... that full of passion, full of love, full of feeling...

14.08.12

sooner i'm going back to Moscow...
if you ask me have i prepare?
nope...im not....
whatever i studied i don't feel sufficient
and yes
i admit that i'm lazy and didn't really put much effort in it
just i need the "PUSH" , the "FORCE" that can keep pushing me forward

God, i hope that i can keep on study without care much about how people think of me and without listen to what people say about me....whether is good or bad...... i just hope that may YOU bless you the FIRE the passion of study and a never give up soul ... God i need the POWER, STRENGTH from you. May YOU remove my laziness and let me obey every single word from YOU. IN JESUS NAME, AMEN!

11.08.12 How long it takes to heal a wound?

How long will you need to forget a person?
especially a person who once were so important in your life that both of you swore to be together forever?
you were the only person in his eyes and he was the only person in your eyes?

how long will you spend to "TOTALLY" forget such an important person?

ten years?
one year?
one month?
one week?
one day?
or even..

one hour?

it depends on how you take it, i said
after seeing so many examples around me...
it seems that ... a couple were together for maybe .. 2-3 years?
they broke up and each of them found someone in a short period...
i wonder... is it that easy to find another person to be with you? especially to be part of your life?
i thought should be harder?
because the one before was the one you thought is the ONE..
but turn out to be Mr./Ms. Wrong...
didn't you need time to forget the wrong choice that you made? before you even be with another one?
to make sure that this one is the ONE...?

it took me a while to be with the person that i'm with right now
my lover, my best friend... even though we fought but still we are who we are right now
loving each other despite our weaknesses ... encourage each other
supporting each other and hope for the best for each other
we do crazy things together
and this i call, LOVE.

Life is not that easy!

10 August 2012

i'm writing this post while tuning Kopmajer's, 

after so many years i'm back...hah...

i have too many things to share and yeah......

lets start with this:

i have found someone who love me more than i do

who willing to sacrifice his time, energy to care about me, to love me

to be crazy with, and shed away my tears 

who ,have been always, be the one who cheer me up and give me supports whenever i need

my personal cook who always prepare food for me whenever i'm hungry and wait for me when the food is ready but i'm not there ( he was terribly hungry until having gastric) 

who help me in my studies...  staying up late together with me when he don't need to

who always worry if i'm hungry, sad, tired, or in danger (if im coming back late)

a person who choose to be with me even though IF* his parents disagree our relationship

and went to Genting together with me when his body condition don't allow him to (he might vomit and feel dizzy)

i feel very touched by all his sacrifices and love for me...

I love you BU~~ <3 <3

p.s now i feel like i'm a bad girlfriend :(